What do you get when you put a microphone in front of two Original Soupman Soup Club Members and best-friend-bloggers, Natalie and Dylan?
A declaration of their passion for the Original Soupman’s Soups?
A recipe for a warm, happy belly hugging your heart?
Or something else…
Int. Natalie’s Apartment – Afternoon
DYLAN: Is that the topic for today? Or just a general, single word statement.
DYLAN: Doesn’t clarify anything. But I’m interested to see where this goes.
NATALIE: I have finished and filed.
NATALIE: It was no easy feat. The hoops. The hurdles. The tax code.
DYLAN: It is intense to say the least.
NATALIE: And there’s no rhyme or reason to these deductions.
DYLAN: You Googled tax deductions, didn’t you?
NATALIE: I Googled tax deductions, yes. And there is some weird stuff out there. Things that apparently the government will need to help you pay for.
DYLAN: Hit me with your best shot, Patty Benatar.
NATALIE: Pet moving expenses.
DYLAN: I’m sorry?
NATALIE: Say you have to move due to a loss of employment.
DYLAN: You know I have recently been unsuccessfully looking for a job. But let’s continue down this yellow brick road.
NATALIE: Your dog or cat or iguana…
DYLAN: Or deer…
NATALIE: …They won’t just go homeless. You have to transport them with you. I don’t know about anyone out there, but the cost of moving that precious pet cannot be calculated easily. So take the hit. At the end of the year, deduct that sucker.
DYLAN: If you have a sucker fish, that is exactly what you should do.
NATALIE: While we’re talking marine life, whales.
DYLAN: Do whales file taxes?
NATALIE: No. But whaling ship captains do.
DYLAN: Is that even a career path anymore?
NATALIE: Ruining the story flow. A whaling captain spent money on fixing up his ship. He said it was part of his business – mostly because it was – and the government. Gave him the deduction.
DYLAN: Call me Ishmael.
NATALIE: I will continue to call you unemployed. Cause here in the good old USA, unless you’re a Native American, whaling is not allowed.
DYLAN: I retract my original statement.
NATALIE: Then finally, we come to beer.
DYLAN: You have my rapt attention.
NATALIE: This one guy was trading lager for trading stamps.
DYLAN: Trading stamps?
NATALIE: Like Greenbax. Stuff like that. People would bring them in and walk out with the beer.
DYLAN: That sounds crazy to me.
NATALIE: Me too. But apparently it worked well enough for the courts to rule in his favor.
DYLAN: Gives new meaning to a beer back.
NATALIE: That was not your best joke.
DYLAN: Never said it was.
NATALIE: Unfortunately, I have nothing so interesting to deduct.
DYLAN: How much are you getting back?
NATALIE: I can honestly say that that is none of your business.
DYLAN: Fair enough. Anything else before we wrap?
NATALIE: Just a reminder, watch the interwebs for the big announcement concerning the new soup coming from Original Soupman. Still rumors, but watch and look for the words “Melting Pot.” Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. It’s going to be hot, covered and smothered with details on the release.
DYLAN: Sounds great. Now we get to file my taxes.
NATALIE: This is going to take awhile.
DYLAN: At the end of the day, when we get that sweet return money? We can buy a house made of soup.
NATALIE: I’m Natalie.
DYLAN: I’m Dylan.